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I hate a lot of things in life.
I hate that two doctors, together, killed my son.
I hate that they didn’t see him for who he was, and I hate that they didn’t see his worth.
I hate that they didn’t listen to me when I tried to protect my son.
I hate that even Google is talking about the things that Rowan’s own pediatrician refuses to.
I hate silence, and the crimes that result.
I hate apathy, and the destruction that happens because of it.
I hate that I had to teach my daughter about death.
I hate that I have to teach her everyday about silence, and apathy, and why bad guys sometimes get away, and why some people don’t have to say they’re sorry.

And I’m UN-apologetically angry.
I’m angry when someone is silent, and I will not tolerate it.
I’m angry when someone is apathetic, and I will not tolerate it.
I’m angry when someone won’t say they are sorry, and I will not tolerate it.
I’m outraged when someone hides his crimes, and I will not tolerate it.
I’m outraged every morning when I wake up envisioning my son’s death, that I witnessed, all over again.
I’m angry every night when I cry myself to sleep.

But I look into my daughter’s eyes, and I can’t teach her to hate.
I won’t hate all doctors, because I can’t teach her to discriminate.
I won’t hate people who are silent, because I can’t teach her to give up her own voice.
I won’t hate people who are apathetic, because I can’t teach her that she can’t make a change.
I won’t hate those who don’t take responsibility, because I can’t teach her to run away from her own.

I am angry. And will teach my daughter that there are some things that are wrong.
I am outraged. And will teach my daughter that there are some things worth being furious about.
But I will not meet hate with hate. Because if she learns that lesson, then I have lost her, too.

 

 

 

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To learn more about current research documenting Special Needs Discrimination in Healthcare visit: Special Needs Discrimination – Healthcare

Copyright © rowansmile 2015. All Rights Reserved. No part of this website or any of its contents may be reproduced, copied, modified or adapted, without the prior written consent of the author. Rowan was killed at Rady Children’s Hospital as a direct result of the carefree and unnecessary use of general anesthesia for an equally unnecessary and “routine” outpatient diagnostic procedure.. Without his parents’ consent. It is okay to post a link to this page.